Thursday, November 13, 2008

Just another day

I went to visit mom today. She looks great. Aunt Marsha fixed her hair, which a woman has to do to feel pretty. :) Still has pain when she gets up and moves around, but absolutely none when lying in bed. She's only taking ibuprofen now...won't even touch the Vicodin.

Her first night home she got very, very sick. We're not sure why. It could have been the mix of Vicodin, a little food in her stomach and then the stomach not liking the mix, or it could have been other things. We don't know. All we do know is on Wednesday we were talking about taking her BACK to the hospital, but instead got some anti-nausea medication for her, and she's back on track. However, she won't take anything besides the ibuprofen now. I felt so bad that she was up all night sick, and so grateful that Marsha was with her the entire time.

Since yesterday morning, she's been getting better and better. Her spirits are up and down. The reality is setting in, and it's difficult. I refuse to tell her to "think positively" because I've heard from several cancer patients it's the one thing they don't want to hear. They just want to be able to feel what they feel without being told to NOT feel that way. I listen, and I rarely have anything to say. I'm not sure how long I can go without saying anything. She's used to me having an opinion on everything!!! We briefly talked about Ryan calling. I still can't tell how she felt about it. She wasn't upset that he called, she's just still upset it's been so LONG since he's called.

The topic of chemo was brought up because dad was talking to Uncle Jim on the phone. She's obviously not ready to hear about it OR talk about it. I don't blame her. She did say she's pissed that right when she starts feeling like her body is healing, she'll feel like shit from the chemo. She's right, and that really, really sucks.

Marsha will be leaving on Saturday. I worry that mom will get nervous, and lonely, and offered for her to call me if she needs me to come over. My husband has been so generous with letting me go when I need to.

I feel like dad is a bit overwhelmed. He's still gathering information. Mom will be meeting with her regular PCP AND her regular GYNO next week. Dad is trying to find the best possible place to receive her chemo...close by. We've been so very fortunate to have people know people who are either oncologists in different cities, or like my friend Zim, who is working at Harvard University actually on the team to find a cure for cancer. These people have all of the up to date information, and have plenty of ideas for dad to start on the chemo research. Also the new trial medications.

I'm tired...again. Thank goodness for trash t.v. that makes my brain stop thinking for awhile. Yay, Grey's Anatomy!

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