Guest Post by Sophia Stone

Quote of the Day:  I’m tired of pretending to be somebody I’m not, hiding what I believe like it’s a dirty little secret. Sophia Stone, author of Mormon Diaries

The Book

Brought up in a religious home, Sophia believes the only way to have a forever family is by following church leaders and obediently choosing the right. She goes to the right school, marries the right man in the right place, and does the right thing by staying home to raise her children. But when she starts asking questions about grace, love, and the nature of God, she realizes her spiritual struggles could rip her family apart.

The Blurbs

“Sophia Stone has a fine eye and a searching heart. Her story of growing up in and reaching through her Mormonism for a deeper, more authentic spirituality reflects all the ways that religion can both keep us satisfied with easy answers and push us to more difficult and complicated realizations. We need a hundred more books like this one . . . “ –Joanna Brooks, author of The Book of Mormon Girl

“Sophia Stone captured my attention from the beginning. This collection of personal essays, about questioning the legitimacy of Mormonism after having faith in the religion for the first 30-something years of her life, is not just a controversial quake to a reader’s heart and soul. Stone’s voice is brave, bold and intriguing. And surprisingly relatable to someone who is not religious.”—Jessica Bell, author of String Bridge

The Trailer

http://youtu.be/ZcNOrGWtR0c

1.        What does the ornament on the cover stand for?

 As a child I was taught that the only way I could experience true joy was by living the Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in Mormonism. The ornament is symbolic of that joy. Or, more particularly, what I feared I’d lose if I ever stopped believing in The Church.

2.        Why did you hide your faith struggles from those closest to you?

 I was afraid my faithful Mormon family and friends would think me either prideful or influenced by Satan if I admitted to doubting The Church. There’s a common phrase faithful Latter-day Saints use to explain away uncomfortable issues: “The Church is true. The people are not.” Those who leave the church are often labeled as angry, easily offended, prideful, lazy, or deceived. There’s no good reason to doubt, no good reason to question, no good reason to stop believing. Faith yields loyalty and obedience.

 

3.        How is your family coping with this? Do they support you?

Well, it depends on what part of my family you’re talking about. My kids have been great, but they’re pretty young. I’m continually amazed by the open mindedness and trust of small children. I really think Jesus knew what he was talking about when he said that unless we become as little children we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.

My husband, on the other hand, is having a really hard time. We’ve had to do some negotiating about the kid’s religious education. He wants them to believe in Mormonism and is very much attached to the outcome. The thought of his kids choosing to leave the LDS church is absolutely devastating to him.

There are certain things that (for him) are non-negotiable. The kids WILL get baptized at age eight whether I want that for them or not. The kids will continue to go to the Mormon church each Sunday until they turn twelve. (He’d said eighteen originally, but has since softened). 10% of his income will continue to go to The Church whether or not I agree with that particular donation. We’re a single income family so that’s a pretty big deal, but he’s frightened, truly frightened that if he stops paying a full tithe, he’ll lose his job.

Although, in fairness, he say it has nothing to do with fear. Rather, he has faith in the principle of tithing. God will bless him for his financial sacrifice.

As for the rest of the family, my mother is struggling, the brother just younger than me acts as if he doesn’t know, my older brother has been accepting, and my sister is unpredictable. I’m not even sure how to characterize that relationship at this point. So overall it’s been a mixed bag where tolerance is concerned. As for support—no, I do not have family support. Nor is it something I can reasonably expect.

 

4.     How do you get someone who thinks you’ve been influenced by Satan to consider your point of view?

Short answer: you don’t.

Long answer: It’s odd to be on the other end of the “hate the sin, love the sinner” rhetoric. I always considered myself a fairly good, honest person. And I have to admit that I don’t feel like a different person just because I don’t believe in Mormonism like I used to. Certain things just don’t change, you know? I still like chocolate milk shakes. I still like people. I feel, in many ways, closer to God than I did a year ago. So it’s been kind of shocking to have people who always trusted me assume the worst.

5. How do you build relationships with people who think you are broken?

Oh, man, I wish I knew. Honestly, it depends on how important their Mormonism is to their identity. Those who are capable of accepting my brokenness without trying to fix it are much easier to have relationships with than those who work extra hard to fix me.

6.    How has your change in beliefs affected your marriage and children?

I think it has benefited my children in a number of ways. First, by showing them that goodness isn’t based on legalistic rules, they are more accepting of themselves and others. Second, by helping them see that there isn’t one right way to be a decent human being, they are able to think the best of people. Third, by opening up to other ideas and spiritual philosophies, they are more open as well.

As for my marriage, my change in beliefs has brought to light problems I’d been ignoring for years. Things having to do with power dynamics, issues with inflexibility, and some fundamental disagreements in parenting styles between my husband and I. My marriage has suffered and I worry about it often. But I also know that without the insights I have now, the relationship would continue to grow more unbalanced and necessary change would never occur.

I’m crossing my fingers and holding out hope in the marriage department.

7.    How has writing about your struggles helped you?

 There’s a saying that writing is cheaper than therapy, and I can attest to that. There’s no time limit on how long I can type away on my keyboard when I’m having a bad day. I don’t have to worry about the paper judging me. Plus, it’s helped me to put things in perspective.  

8.    What are the best ways to support someone going through a faith crisis?

 The most important thing is to listen. Don’t distance yourself. Don’t shy away. Don’t give advice, and definitely don’t judge. Just be a friend. Period. Sometimes it really is that simple.

9.    How did your falling away from Mormonism affect your view of the religion?

 Hmm, well, when I believed in Mormonism with my whole heart, I rationalized away any issues I had by saying members were human and made mistakes. I believed The Church was as close to being a perfect institution as anyone was likely to find. God had made it. He had ordered it. Who was I to question what He had formed?

Now I see all kinds of problems with the institution. Not with the hearts of members or leaders (who I believe are honest people acting on faith) but rather with group think. It shuts down a lot of voices that threaten the status quo. There’s not much tolerance for free speech where church policy and doctrine are concerned. Speaking against the leadership is taboo, and there are lots of unwritten rules about not exposing the flaws of the organization to the outside world. It’s a lot like a dysfunctional family that way. Loyalty to the church trumps personal spirituality.    

10. What kinds of reactions have you had from your Mormon author friends?

This has been similar to my family response—lots of condemnation, lots of avoidance, lots of judgment, and lots of gratitude. Yes, I know, it seems odd that I’d hear gratitude from LDS author friends who are faithful in the church. But apparently there are people who struggle in silence, unable to tell a soul how they feel without losing those most dear to them. That’s the reason the Disaffected Mormon Underground (DAMU) exists. It fills a palpable need.

11.Do you ever feel angry . . . if so, why?

On my bad days, I feel more disappointment than anger. Mostly because I believed with all my heart the promises found in Mormonism. I thought I was happier than other people, that I had greater access to spirituality, that I knew my most important and fulfilling role. I believed I had divine knowledge and purpose. Now I’ve found that many of these promises are smoke and mirrors.

And I’m further disheartened when I see religion hurt families. You’d think a family centered church would shout from the rooftops not to shun family members who’ve fallen away. You’d think they’d allow non-believing parents to see their believing kids get married in the temple. You’d think they’d support all different kinds of families, not just those that meet one definition. But all too often an ideal is promoted that benefits the church over families that are struggling. “Traditional gender roles” and “conservative family values” are taught as religious principles.

12.Who should read your book?

Anyone who wants to understand Mormonism. Please don’t misread that to mean my book is factually perfect. It’s not. It is based on my experience, and everyone’s reality is different. But I stand by my claim that people who leave Mormonism are often in an isolating place. It’s hard for an orthodox believer to understand why anyone would leave. It’s hard for those who’ve never been Mormon to understand why leaving is such a big deal. To both these groups, I’d say, “please read this!” Understanding is vital.

Thank you for your help in promoting Mormon Diaries. I've attached the B&N and Amazon link below:

B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mormon-diaries-sophia-l-stone/1112764678?ean=9781477548059

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0096BFE5K/ref=s9_simh_gw_p351_d0_i1?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1RS2CC2KXK5GPC1A4X8V&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1389517282&pf_rd_i=507846

I've also created a twitter account where I will take any questions about Mormonism and answer them minus the usual spin under the hashtag #mormonquestions.

The twitter account is sophia stone@ask_a_mormon The underscores are kind of important because someone else has that address without the underscore marks.

When Sophia was writing her Mormon Diaries as daily posts during the April A to Z Blog Challenge, I clicked on her blog the first thing every morning. I was, and still am, fascinated by her bravery as she takes this personal journey in exposing the truth of her religion and trying to find peace for herself. Her writing is bold and honest, nothing seems to be held back. Sophia shows us that our spirituality is personal. That we are not all the same, and don't need to think and act the same even as strict religions try to enforce such single-minded laws. She dares to question core beliefs that challenge how she views the world and how her world views her.

Go. Create. Inspire!
And, dare to ask questions.

Journaling Prompt:  Write out a question that challenges a core belief.

Guest Post by Laurel Garver

Today my guest is Laurel Garver, here to talk about her debut novel, Never Gone.
How did you get your ideas for Never Gone? What inspired you? 
The idea of parental haunting is pretty old. Shakespeare uses it in Hamlet, for example. I also was inspired by the TV show Providence that aired from 1999-2002, in which a young woman moves home after her mother’s death, and often has long heart-to-heart talks and arguments with her mother’s ghost. The idea of a parental presence lingering to help a child fascinated me, especially when it’s unclear why it’s happening (is it supernatural or psychological?).
After losing my own father, I began reading about grief experiences and how varied and confusing they can be, especially for kids. I got thinking about other circumstances that might make grieving more of a pressure cooker--like being left with the parent you’re alienated from, having a family culture that frowns on expressing negative emotions, and coming from a faith tradition that tends to emphasize the joys the departed gains in the afterlife. The question of “how do I cope without my loved one?” will be more urgently felt in circumstances like that. The psychology of father-daughter relationships inspired me quite a bit too. I’ll be talking more about that at Tyrean Martinson’s blog next Wednesday (http://tyreanswritingspot.blogspot.com/).
Clearly everything I read and experience is fodder for fiction. Putting research time into areas that naturally raise my curiosity has led me to be a bit more fearless about story situations I’m willing to tackle.
What kept you motivated to complete this project?
More than anything else, having a young fan who wanted to look at drafts kept me going. My pastor’s daughter and I struck up a friendship when she was around the age of my protagonist (she’s now in college). She’d recently moved to Philly from NYC, so I thought she’d have valuable insights. She gave me so much more than critiques (she rarely corrected anything, actually)—she gave me a reason to keep going. She wanted to know what happened next and loved my characters as much as I do. When I praised her highly in my acknowledgments, she was pretty surprised since she hadn’t really critiqued. I told her “everyone’s a critic, few are encouragers.”
Combining ghosts and God is pretty unusual. Why bring those things together?Generally, ghost lore in our culture is associated with bad deaths, with unfinished business. The question for me is whose unfinished business? The departed’s or the survivors’?
My protagonist, Danielle, is a fairly grounded Christian who knows enough “proof texts” (scripture quotes used to prove a particular point) to shut down her own natural emotions in the wake of a devastating loss. Her dad is bound for a happy eternity in heaven, she reasons, so she’s really not supposed to be upset.
This kind of warped stoicism that sometimes arises in my faith tradition concerns me. It’s bad theology to my mind, giving a false view of who God is and how he relates to humanity. In the face of it, a really hurting person can suffer some pretty deep internal fracturing. My story’s ghost is in some ways a manifestation of that inner state. I’d love to say more, but I’d only end up revealing spoilers. You’ll have to read the book to see how Danielle resolves her ghost problem.
===
Days after her father’s death, fifteen-year-old Dani Deane begins seeing him all around New York — wading through discarded sketches in her room, roaming the halls at church, socializing at his post-funeral reception. Is grief making her crazy? Or could her dad really be lingering between this world and the next, trying to contact her?
Dani desperately longs for his help. Without him keeping the peace, Dani’s relationship with her mother is deteriorating fast. Soon Mum ships her off to rural England with Dad’s relatives for a visit that Dani fears will become a permanent stay. But she won’t let her arty, urban life slip away without a fight, especially when daily phone calls with her lab partner Theo become her lifeline.
To find her way home, Dani must somehow reconnect with Mum. But as she seeks advice from relatives and insights from old letters, she uncovers family secrets that shake her to the core. Convinced that Dad’s ghost alone can help her, she sets out on a dangerous journey to contact him one last time.

Add it on Goodreads
The e-book is available at Amazon.com, Amazon UK, Barnes and Noble, Kobo, Smashwords
The paperback is available at CreateSpace, Amazon

Thanks, Laurel. It's great to have you here on my blog today. Your book sounds great. Thanks, also, for sharing your inspiration with me and my readers.

Go. Create. Inspire!

Journaling Prompt:  Do you believe in ghosts? What do you think happens in the afterlife?

Guest Hart Johnson

With briefs, your ears get cold...

It is my pleasure to share this space with a wonderful blogger and author, Hart Johnson from Confessions of a Watery Tart. Her blog is full of silliness and fun. Her book sounds delightful. After you read all about Hart and her first cozy mystery, you can come visit me at The Journaling Woman's Blog.

Take it away, Hart!

Boxers or Briefs?You know... one of my very favorite things about writing cozy mysteries is that I can be a little silly, and one of my very favorite things about MARY is I can be a little silly, so this seems the perfect spot to confess some of the silliness I managed to slip into The Azalea Assault. (Thank you for having me, Mary!!!) I mean most cozy mysteries have a little silliness to them—there is humor. It is just part of the style. And it is a nice departure for me, because my other stuff tends to get into some dark psychology. (I have a rotten streak, but don't tell anyone!)Not that murder isn't dark, but yah know? Nobody liked the guy ANYWAY! (those are the rules with cozies... killing people nobody will miss). But along with RULES, you get some allowances! And that is where I had my fun!Monty Python and Harry Potter nodsThe Burrow, my writing group, originally bonded over the Potterverse, though the Python love runs deep, too. At one point we made a pact to include a Python reference in every book we wrote... I threw in a Potter reference for good measure. I am eager to see if people notice.Crossdressing. Check.“I'm naked!” Check.And yes. There REALLY IS a boxers versus briefs debate. (though there is also support for going commando—this is ME writing this stuff, after all)Annie, my main character's best friend, provides the surest route to most of my silliness, but she isn't the only one. I guess I just figured if I was having fun, my readers would have fun. So there you have it. My silliness in a nut shell. Thank you for having me, Mary!!!

The Azalea AssaultCam Harris loves her job as public relations manager for the Roanoke Garden Society. It allows her to combine her three loves, spinning the press, showing off her favorite town, and promoting her favorite activity. She's just achieved a huge coup by enlisting Garden Delights, the country's premiere gardening magazine, to feature the exquisite garden of RGS founder, Neil Patrick. She's even managed to enlist world-famous photographer Jean-Jacques Georges. Unfortunately, Jean-Jacques is a first-rate cad—insulting the RGS members and gardening, goosing every woman in the room, and drinking like a lush. It is hardly a surprise when he turns up dead. But when Cam's brother-in-law is accused and her sister begs her to solve the crime, that is when things really get prickly.

Alyse Carlson is the pen name for the author some of you may know as Hart Johnson. She writes books from her bathtub and when she isn't writing, does research for a large, midwest University or leads the Naked World Domination Movement (your choice).LinksBarnes & Noble Paperback or NookAmazon Paperback or KindleConfessions of a Watery Tart

Go. Create. Inspire!

Journaling Prompt:  What pen name or alter ego would you choose?

Authentic Woman

Quote of the Day:  John Updike's birthday was last week. I found this quote at The Writer's Almanac: I want to write books that unlock the traffic jam in everybody's head. - John Updike

I hope that something in my writing, my plays, do that.I'm offering a post on a Tuesday.  I know, not my usual style, but I have some things to share.  First, the Versatile Blogger award from Jade at Blush of Dawn.

Second, I am a guest writer at Clara's blog on living into your authentic self.

This bright and beautiful sunflower is here to cheer you up.  Here in Minnesota we're getting a whipping from Mother Nature.  She's sending down sleet and snow and a nasty bought of weather.  Go read my "Authentic Woman" post at Clara's and think about what warms you up and makes you shine!

I have a third thing:  If you'll look to the right, I have the 2011 Scriptfrenzy badge up.  Yep, I'm doing it again.  I can't decide where to start.  I have THREE ideas brewing.  Choir Loft Confessions, Kitchen Table Confessions, and Piano Bench Confessions.  April 1, I'll sit down at a local coffee shop and begin.  I'll let you know then which one brings the cream to the top of my creative coffee cup.

Go. Create. Inspire!

Journaling Prompt:  What warms you up on a cold day (phyically or spiritually)?  When you're feeling down in the dumps (because of nasty weather, the worlds' crises, or your own), what lifts you up?