Buzzer, a Review

Quote of the Day:  People use humor to deflect their true emotions. A line used several times in the play Buzzer written by Tracey Scott Wilson, Produced by Pillsbury House Theatre and performed at the Dowling Studio at The Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis, MN.

Pillsbury House Theatre production of Buzzer

Featuring: Sara A. Richardson as Suzy, Namir Smallwood as Jackson, Hugh Kennedy as Don
Production: Marion McClinton - Director; Tracey Scott Wilson - Playwright; Noel Raymond - Producer; Faye M. Price - Producer; Elizabeth R MacNally - Stage Manager; Mike Wangen - Lighting Designer; Dean Holzman - Set Designer/Builder; Kellie Larson - Prop Designer; Clare Brauch - Costume Designer; C. Andrew Mayer- Original Sound Designer; e.g. bailey, Assistant Director; Katherine Horowitz, Sound Designer; Heidi Batz Rogers, Fight Choreographer
Photo © Michal Daniel, 2013

Buzzer is a contemporary play set in urban America. It has mature themes and adult language and pulls you in from the opening sentence. The characters feel like people you already know and as you're watching, you feel like you are inside the apartment ready to join in on the conversation. I give the director, Marion McClinton, credit for how well the characters interact with each other and the audience. The way they turn towards us, look out as if we are another character, or open up so we can really feel what they are feeling is what pulls you into their story. The actors do an amazing job of creating the tension around their situation.

Photo by Michal Daniel

 

Rarely do you see a show where you are pulled in so completely that you lose yourself in the performance. You forget that you're at a play and you are mentally interacting with the people on stage. My sister said that when Hugh Kennedy walked on stage as Don, she felt like she knew him. He never seemed like he was acting, but that he was Don, living the life of a recovering alcoholic, trying to find his way, working the program, and fighting so many obstacles.

 

This is a story about relationships, trust, and fear. It makes you ponder the question: Are our fears founded on experience and instint? When is the truth too painful to be spoken out loud?

 

I could go on to analyze this incredible performance and story, but I'm afraid I might give too much away. This is a story that needs to be experienced. You have until March 3, 2013, to see this show at The Dowling Studio at The Guthrie Theater. It is a performance that will stick with you and get you thinking about how you act and interact with each other, what pulls us in and and out of relationships, and how we live.

 

Go. Create. Inspire!

 

Journaling Prompt:  What are your fears in your relationships?

Review of The Brothers Size at the Guthrie

Quote of the Day:  You're my brother. No matter where you are, you're my brother. Ogun Size, the older Size brother to Oshoosi

Playing at the Guthrie Theatre Studio in Minneapolis through September 29.

I watched this contemporary, real life drama, on Saturday night at the Guthrie Theatre Studio with a sell-out audience. The woman behind me was telling her friend how thrilled she was to see all the support for this show and that many people in the audience were other actors. I was excited to see this play because it's about brothers, relationships, and what makes us feel trapped, and what makes us feel free. This is not your typical play-it-safe, stick to the classics written by white men plays that the Guthrie usually puts on its mainstage. This is a modern play with characters who live in communities where everyone struggles to survive. Relationships are not easily defined, and you don't always know who you can trust.

This is a three character play, accompanied by a drummer. Ahanti Young sat on the stage as we entered, drumming out the rhythms of life, drawing us in, setting the mood. The low thump on the djembe seems to echo a heartbeat of dread. The rattles, shakes, and finger thrumming build tension and mystique, and I was ready to focus on the set and the characters before they came out. I wanted the audience to be quiet even beofore the lights dimmed and Young's fingers increased their intensity on the drums.

Oshoosi Size, the younger brother, has recently been released from prison and is staying with his older brother Ogun. Ogun has felt responsible for his younger brother since Oshoosi was in his mother's womb. When they were growing up, people in their community told him to be a good role model. When their mother died, he took on the role of parent. When his brother returned from prison, Ogun took on the role of personal parole officer and reformer. He wasn't about to let Oshoosi "mess" up again. He wasn't going to let him sleep in, slog around, and get tangled up with the wrong people. He also wasn't allowing him to forget his wrongs or his jail time and that he owed it to his brother to live a productive life.

Oshoosi wants freedom to live his own life, to be free from the physical prison he was in and start new relationships and build his own life. He begins to realize how imprisoned he is by his brother's need to protect and control and by the friend he made in prison, Elegba. We see the pull and tug of his loyalties.

Ogun is imprisoned by his sense of uber-responsibility. He was never a carefree kid. He had to take care of everything, including his younger brother. In a scene between the brothers, Oshoosi confronts him on this, telling him if he can't loosen those chains, he'll turn to stone. Ogun has a nightmare about loosing his brother to the influence of his friend.

The friend, Elegba, is imprisoned by his own desires to rebel and control his surroundings. He keeps pulling Oshoosi back into his world. He wants to wrap his influence around him like a rope and keep him close.

As we watch this struggle to find freedom and escape real and imagined prisons, the drums beat on. Sometimes as tiny dings at a moment of truth. Sometimes as hard thuds after words that can never be taken back, or actions that can't be undone. Thud, like a judge's gavel, or a rattle like the sound of a snake.

This is an intense show with intense language. We're watching brothers interact in the privacy of their own home, with the intrusion of a "friend." There are real life consquences to their words and actions. This is a show for older teens and adults. It's a show for anyone who struggles with relationships and which ones imprison us and which ones set us free.

The Brothers Size written by Tarell Alvin McCraney and directed by Marion McClinton is a Pillsbury House Theatre production, performed at the Guthrie Theatre Studio. It runs through September 29. It's a show you won't soon forget.

Go. Create. Inspire!

Journaling Prompt:  Have you ever had to end a relationship that felt like a prison?

Favorite Photo Friday is Back!

Quote of the Day:  Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present. - Buddha

In other words, live in the moment. Not always an easy thing to do. However, it will give you a sense of peace, help you enjoy where you are and the people who are with you.

My little sister flew in from Portland, OR on Wednesday. As soon as I picked her up, we started visiting people and reconnecting. The most important part of life is people and relationships.

Kay showing Joy her fridge full of family photos.

The next day, lunch with old friends, creative spirits and colleagues at

Bugaboo Bay in Alexandria, MN.

A stop at Carlos Creek Winery to visit with another friend who brought gifts and ideas.

One book he gave me is Truth in Comedy. He's been studying acting and theatre and emphasized that no matter what is going on in the scene, the most important thing is the relationship between the characters.

And, a stop at the Beilke farm for a delicious snack, a chance to share photos and stories, and time to look around.

We had one more stop at my friend's house to drop off borrowed items from graduation, do a quick catch-up, and watch her grandson love up the farm kittens, nearly to death! Wow. Talk about tame kitties.

That's all just the first 24 hours. I wonder what today will bring?

Go. Create. Inspire!

Journaling Prompt:  Make your best effort to live in the moment today, this weekend, or whenever you are with important people in your life. What did you do, where did you go, what did you talk about?

Revisiting favorite places and familiar faces is also a reason to Ride off the Page! Check out whose there.

A question NOT to ask your spouse ie. "loaded questions"

So, we're sitting around the dinner table, talking about a show called The Walking Dead. There is the main character, his wife and his best friend. We find out that the wife thought the main character (her hubby) had died and then starts to sleep with his best friend. Okay. I get it (sorta). Sadness. End of the world as we know it. Not sure how much time has passed so we'll let this go.

By season 6, we find out that somewhere between 30-45 days went by before she slept with her hubby's best friend. What? That can't be right. I don't like the main character's wife anymore....especially when we find out that the main character finds his wife, son AND best friend with other survivors...and no one says anything. No one comes clean. Boooooo.

So, I am talking about this, at dinner, and Brian says, "It's the apocalypse. Give her a break." Needing to argue for whatever reason and because in 16 years I've never asked, I ask, "Well how long would YOU wait until after I died to either meet someone else, or you know...do the deed? Never mind the apocalypse. How long?"

He says, "It would depend."

WHAT????? Stop the press. I'm pissed already. But, instead of ending it there, I say, "Well, I'd be willing to give you, oh, you know, 90 days to grieve."

He then says, "Each person grieves differently. I don't know how long it would take, but you're being ridiculous on giving a set time."

I left the table. lol

This is how I heard it. "I don't love you enough to know for certain that I would grieve for a long time."

This is what I was hoping he would say, "It would take a very long time to stop grieving for you. I don't know how long, but just the idea of you dying makes a tear come to my eye. I wouldn't even THINK of dating anyone else. For quite awhile."

Women. Why do we ask these questions that really, there is no right answer? Hence...loaded question. I wouldn't want him to grieve forever. I would want him to find someone else...eventually. I just wanted to know that the loss of me would be devastating. He didn't answer it wrong. I heard it wrong.

After being extremely pissed all that night and then most of the day (Brian had the Friday off) we finally talk about it again and said the "right" things.

Don't ask questions that you aren't sure how they are going to answer.

Here's a list:

What really happened at your bachelor party?
Do you think I need to lose a little weight?
Am I turning out like my mom?

Please feel free to add more. :P

Smile

Quote of the Day: I see the best of me inside your eyes.  from Smile by Uncle Cracker, one of my favortie songs.

(Photo from Summer 2007)

My oldest son and I got braces on the same day, summer 2007.  Wow!  We've both changed so much since then.  He's way taller, now.  Doesn't look like that little boy.  He got his license and drives!  I got my braces off last summer.  He's still wearing his, much to his frustration. 

The younger brother got braces on last fall.  The race is on to see who gets his off first!

These guys make me smile.  Their younger brothers make me smile, too, especially when they do something funny, or come home with a funny story from school.  I like to ask this question at the dinner table, "Who has a funny story to share from today?"  Often the story comes from the lunchroom, sometimes from the playground, hallway, or classroom.  They all involve friends.  We laugh together.

More than one of these guys has given me the beaming smile of relief when I've been there after an injury, twice after coming out of an emergency surgery (ripped up knee, and appendicitis!).  I get the happy to see you smile when they come home from school, and I flash it right back at them.

Who lights up the room with a smile in your life?  Who beams back at you when you smile at him? 

There's a rush of connection when your eyes meet.  Suddenly, you're in a big grin contest with a laugh ready to burst forth, and you have the overwhelming urge to give him a big hug.

A smile is free.  Straight teeth and a lined-up bite, now, that's an investment!

Journaling Prompt:  Write about a person who often brings a smile to your face and/or smiles when you enter a room.

Spring Thaw

Quote of the Day:

from The Message, Psalm 31:23-24

Love God, all you saints;

God takes care of all who stay close to him,

But he pays back in full

those arrogant enough to go it alone.

Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up.

Expect God to get here soon.

Up here in the North Country, the Earth is still frozen.  Ice and snow are thick on our drive-ways and by-ways.  Our paths are treacherous. Our patience is thin.  We're longing for spring.  And, yet, before we see the first blooms of tulips and smell the fragrance of lilacs, we must endure the spring thaw. 

I'm from the Red River Valley of the North.  As I mentioned in my molecule post, this river flows north.  The spring thaw is a huge threat.  As the river ice melts, it has nowhere to go.  As the snow becomes water, it flows out, but not away, it pools in low lands and fields and farms.  It becomes the enemy and your instincts for fight or flight kick in.  My parents, sister and husband stayed on the farm and fought...and somehow won the battle of the flood of 2009.  My best writer-mama-pal fled to my house.  I'm preparing floor space and heart space right now.  The snowbanks are high.  The ice is thick.  Danger is looming.  And, yet, we long for spring.

I see barriers in relationships like the frozen ground all around me.  Although people long for deep, intimate relationships, they remain in a frozen state.  It's easier, they think, to stay cold and form ice sculptures on their exteriors that look "all good."  And, yet, they long for the spring thaw.  What if, the warmth of friendship started to melt that ice?  What if, God blew the fire of his love into our hearts and we began to thaw?

Darkness, death, suffering all come before the dawn of Easter morning when the lilies are in bloom.  The sun warms our faces, and we feel joy in God's deep, intimate relationship.  Jesus walks that dark path with us.  He knows our every pain, our every joy, and our deepest longing.  He wants us to have deep, intimate relationships.  What does that feel like?  I suspect it's like longing for spring, despite the fear of the flood.

Journaling Prompt: What are your deepest longings?  How do you remain frozen?  What if your heart started to melt?

Confrontation

I am wondering, is there a point where you are TOO truthful? I am proud of the fact that I am truthful, but I wonder if I am too truthful. I sometimes say things that might seem hurtful when I don't mean them to be, but I am under the impression that I would much rather hear the truth than guess. I also know that when someone tells me that I either pissed them off, or hurt them, or anything at all, that it helps THEM when they unload and talk of the hurt that they feel. I love these people enough that I will take their hurt, take the criticism, take their pain, and make them feel better by unloading their burdens.

I know that within my group of friends that I am known for saying it the way it is, but I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I try to be tactful. The joke was that I can say "no" when I don't want to do something when other people have problems saying that. That they never have to guess where I am coming from because I tell them. I am in the process of trying to teach a friend how to be more vocal. Her feelings are there, but she's not sure how to be confrontational about things.

I'm to the age where I don't need games. I don't need to mince words. I want strong relationships that can endure the truth. I believe I have surrounded myself with people that not only appreciate that, but can stand it. I am a very lucky person indeed.

God. I'm such a hypocrite. Here I'm being vague with what I'm talking about for fear of hurting someone else as I write this. Guess I'm not that honest after all.

Mental Math

Quote of the Day: I rarely think in words. – Albert Einstein




Lately my 11-year-old son, Zach, tests my brain with Mental Math. As the name might suggest, it is doing math stories in your head. Zach starts with a number, tells me to add, subtract, multiply, divide, square, and do all sorts of things with this stream of numbers until he’s done thinking them up. I’m very slow. I can blame Mr. D. his 5th grade teacher for this brain exercise. I’m clearly out of shape. He also marveled at Mr. B. who started the whole thing in his class several years ago. Mr. B. can do it so fast that even the sharpest math mind in the class can’t keep up. Way to go teachers! You’ve made math fun, at least for my boy.

Albert Einstein and I are nothing alike. I rarely think in numbers. In fact, when it came to story problems in math, I got distracted by the story.

“If a train leaves New York at 3:00…” I wonder who’s on that train? Where are they going?

“And a train leaves Chicago at 3:45…” Is the person on that train meeting the person on the NY train? What if they crash?

Maybe, their destiny is to meet at this juncture. The trains will collide and they’ll end up helping each other. He’ll rescue her from being crushed under the wreckage, and she’ll comfort him in his time of loss.

What is the probability that two people amidst life's train wreck could find comfort in each other? You never know who you might run into the next time you leave your house. A new relationship might be an errand stop away. If you believe there are no coincidences, then God, who is the great train conductor of life will lead you off one track and onto another one that is your path.

Journaling/comment prompt: Do you have a story about a moment that seemed to be guided by a higher power? Start watching for them. They happen every day.

Wet pillow

Woke up crying this morning. Not sure what is up with that. I mean, I'm aware of what is going on in my life, but since I usually deal with things with anger, I was surprised to find tears. It made me think about why I'm reacting the way I am.

Am I hurt about it all? Maybe a bit. I thought I was more relieved than anything else, but I think not knowing what the outcome is is starting to get to me. I fear a lack of closeness and I've got to get over that. It's interesting that I've always blamed one person for this entire fiasco but now see the blame also lies with someone else. I realize we weren't as close as I thought we were, and that realization is what hurts. I rethink what I've said, what I've done and try to find ways to blame myself because it just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

It's funny how hurt brings out the worst in all of us.

I get tired of faking it. I really do. I sometimes just want to unplug the phone so I don't have to act.

Perception

Sometimes, I would like to scream at the world, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!" and then realize, I don't know myself.

Memorable quote

I read a book yesterday by one of my favorite authors James Patterson. Mr. Patterson normally writes suspenseful mysteries or murder crime books and I love them, but yesterday I picked up a book called Sundays at Tiffany's,

The book was written after a statement that Mr. Patterson's son had said when very young. "Love means you can never be apart." During the book, that theme resonated and it was actually a love story, but boy, did that statement affect me like no other.

What does it mean to love? For me, there are quite a few different kinds of love. You've got your agape. Your unconditional. Your eros. Platonic. Familial. Religious. The way a mother loves her child. When looking up the definition, it's hard to define what love truly is. To really know, is to have really loved.

"Love isn't blind, it just only sees what matters."

"Love is friendship, friendship is love.
If love fails, friendship should remain.
For friendship is the foundation of love."

"A meeting between two beings
who complete one another,
who are made for
each other, borders already,
in my opinion, on a miracle."

"Love is like an eternal flame,
Once it is lit, it will continue to burn for all time."

These are, of course, talking of the eros love, but the idea is the same with all loves. Once you really feel love, it won't leave you. It will stay with you forever.

With all that is happening in my life, I need to remember this. Loss is huge. All encompassing. However, the idea of love never being able to be taken away from you is so powerful, it heals my heart.

14 years

Yeah, I'll toot my own horn a bit. I think it's huge to make it this far in this day and age. Divorce still at 50%. Absolutely asinine. People ask me how do we do it, and so I'm going to write a bit of sage advice that I've learned from 14 years of marriage. Here goes:

1. Communication. All old married couples say this, but it's absolutely true. I don't care if it's a knock down fight or quietly expressing your views, you've got to communicate. WITH this, you have to listen and respect the views of your spouse. If it's all one-sided, it ceases to be communication and becomes nagging.

2. Absolutely believe your spouse is capable of anything. My hubby is my warrior. The smartest and most talented man on the face of this Earth. I believe if he wants something, he can achieve it. He's superman. I'm his biggest fan.

3. Don't belittle your spouse. Respect one another with what you say to each other.

4. Love them with everything you have so it withstands the bad days. You're gonna have them. Annoying little habits. Saying trite things. This is YOU I'm talking abnout. You expect your spouse to love you even though you make mistakes, don't they deserve the same love back?

5. Make your spouse number one. I have a hard time with this one. Three kids to occupy my time. Family everywhere. He still needs to be the first thing I think about in the morning and before I go to bed.

6. Find things to do together that you both enjoy.

7. Love their mother-in-law or at least put up with her with a smile on your face.

8. Make time for each other.

9. Say "I love you" everyday before they leave for work, the house, etc. You never know if it's the last thing you'll say to them.

10. Don't ever let them hear you talk ill of them in front of another person.

11. Having God in your marriage.