Solitude

Quote of the Day:  I need noise and interruptions and irritation:  irritation and discomfort are a great starter.  The loneliness of doing it any other way would kill me. Anita Brookner

I also like:  I type in one place, but I write all over the house. Toni Morrison

Some writers need complete silence.  Some want blank walls and a a small room where they can shut the door.  Not me, I need people.  I find that I am more productive when the kids are home or when I go to a coffee shop.  I need the energy of other people to stimulate the flow of words for some of my projects.  Plus, I get most of my dialogue from listening to other people.  I'll confess right now that Coffee Shop Confessions is filled with overheard conversations as well as ones that I've been involved in.  I take real life and put it into my stories and articles.

This weekend my boys were with their dad.  The temps were well below 0 degrees F.  I was alone, feeling isolated, and a little schlumpy.  That means I tend to nap, putter around, and watch movies. 

This is my parents' mailbox, not mine.  It's about 150 miles away.  I didn't make it past the end of my driveway this weekend, but I wanted to use their mailbox because I like this picture.

This weekend, I decided not to let the solitude get the best of me.  I embraced it, (remember my word for the year) and found myself doing things that I like to do.  I read a book The Reader, then I watched the movie.  It was interesting comparing the written word to the movie version.  They're very close.  I worked on my play, merging some files so it was all in one place.  I feel very good about Acts 1 and 2.  I still need to work on Act 3.  I made a date with myself to work on it at the coffee shop on Tues.  I cleaned my floor, mostly because I couldn't stand the filth - salt and sand dragged in on dirty boots - yuck.  And, I made a delicious chicken stir-fry with lots of ginger and garlic. mm-mm.  My kids are afraid of stir-fry, so I make it when they're not here.

Sometimes when I'm alone on a weekend, I wonder, what are other people doing?  Where do adults gather, besides the bars?  Well, this weekend, we had the Brainerd Jaycees Ice Fishing Extravaganza.  This is a fund-raiser for the organization and much of the proceeds go to Camp Confidence, a local camp for kids with disabilities.  We even had our new Governor Mark Dayton visiting the lakes area. 

(The following photos were taken by my friend Joey Halvorson.  She does most of the photos for my Her Voice articles.  She's much hardier and braver than I am.)

My friend Hans and co-author of my next Her Voice article, "Real Men Read Her Voice"

These folks are really walking on a frozen lake - thousands of them are out there trying to catch fish through a small hole in the ice.

Now, that's a cold seat!

I left the fishing and schmoozing to the hardier folks and stayed inside.  In the end, I felt refreshed by my choice to spend time with myself.  But, I was ready for conversation and life beyond my own couch this morning.

Journaling Prompt:  How do you handle solitude?   Do you embrace it or resist it?  Where do you do your art best?  Have you ever walked or fished on a frozen lake?  How's the weather where you are today?

The Power of the Purse

Quote of the Day:  Know what you have and where it is. Laurie Fitterer, my financial advisor

I write for our local women's magazine, called Her Voice.  I love that title.  I found my voice by getting published in Her Voice.  In my most recent article, The Power of the Purse, I encourage women to fully understand their financial status.  If you'd like to read the article, click here.  It is on p. 32 & 33.  Click on the text to enlarge it.

I feel especially proud of this article because I used to be one of those women who gave away her power over money.  My husband earned the money, had control over the money, and worked at a bank.  In part, I believed he had better knowledge of where to invest it.  In part, he liked having the control.  When we got divorced, I had anxiety about figuring out what I had and where it was, and needing to do it under great emotional strain.  I went from knowing very little, to understanding my investments.

Laurie advises us to know who is on our professional team, attorney, accountant, banker, etc.  Don't wait until a crisis occurs to find out who they are and try to figure out what you have.  If you're single, find out the best way to use your money.  Develop a relationship with these professionals, and never believe that you need to talk yourself into trusting someone.  If you have a bad feeling about someone, find a different person to help you.  You always have options.

Money and finances are important for all adults to understand.  I don't think any of us got enough education on this as we were pushed out into the world.  Laurie said that most college students get bombarded with credit card offers and quickly get into trouble.  Be money smart, and never give away all the power over your purse.

Journaling Prompt:  Write about money.

Reckless Love

Quote of the Day: 
Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal. John 12:25 (The Message)

(Photo of friend, Pete Woit, jumping off a bridge.

Of course, that's not me!  I'd be way too terrifed.)

Being reckless in your love must be something like leaping off a bridge, or jumping out of an airplane, and praying that the chute opens.  What would you need in order to make that leap?  What kind of equipment would you pack?  Who would be there with you?  In my case, who would push me out and listen to my scream all the way down?

To me, thinking about dating after divorce feels a bit like being pushed out of an airplane.  I'm about to land in a foreign country where I don't speak the language and I don't understand the customs.  I mean, how do you even say hello?  A nod, a handshake, a kiss, and if so, where?

The verse I quote at the top of this post isn't just about romantic love.  It's about being reckless in your love for all people.  People in foreign countries who are hurting from natural disasters.  People inside cultures that oppress and abuse.  People in lands where war is the norm and peace is a distant dream.  What would it take to be reckless in your love to your neighbors who do things differently than you do?  What kind of equipment would you need to reach out to someone in a difficult situation?  Who would be there to help you?

Journaling Prompt: What does it mean to you to be reckless in your love?