I went to Target today and started to browse through the Happy Mother's Day cards that are prominently on display. I read through them, getting a bit teary eyed with some, snorting at others...but none of them said what I feel right at this time in my life. If I had a card written by Hallmark, for a daughter who thought she could have lost her mother this year...but was given more time it would say,
I was reading through all of the Happy Mother's Day cards and even though they seemed sweet, and certainly said wonderful things...a huge part was missing. My sincere and deep gratitude for having you alive. Today.
7 months ago we got news of cancer, and that it was bad. I look back on the day with reeling emotions because although I tried not to think of death, it was heavy on my mind. All I could think about was how would I ever make it without you in my life? During my childhood to my growing up and having my own children, you have always been there for me. Through the pregnancy, and my wedding, through having three boys and the laughs, terrors and jitters that brings. Through the good times and the bad, we have remained best friends. I never thanked you enough for being home everyday so I could be safe with you after school. Thanks would never be enough for all of the sacrifices you made so we could attend recitals, plays, softball, youth group events. All of it was because of you. I truly believe an award should be handed to you for all that you have gone through these past months, and how you can still laugh and hope that life will be the same once all this is over. You are my hero. No one ever could measure up.
The thought of me trying to live a life fully without you is incomprehensible. I thank God every day that you are still here in my life. In two weeks, we hope to hear "remission". I cannot wait until we have another 34 years of life together as best friends.
I love you, mom.
Happy Mother's Day
This post is part of a world wide blogging tribute to Moms led by TheBlogFrog